A prayer when wondering if there is more to life and faith than this…
God, there must be more than this, right?
I can remember when the days were days,
And the weeks were weeks, one after another,
And the months and years were months and years;
Times that passed slowly,
Slow enough to plan, and anticipate, and savor,
But now they blend into one long passing life.
And here I find myself at the mercy of time,
Knowing my life is but a vapor,
Feeling my one chance slowly slipping away
And wanting so much more than this;
Not for my sake, or so I suppose,
But for the sake of your Kingdom.
I know well the parable of the talents,
And not wanting to be the last servant,
I have spent my gifts in service to you,
Always seeking to earn out my reward,
To find myself before you to hear,
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
It is these words I have sought,
But God, I now know it is the words I seek
And not the speaker.
I desire the affirmation,
Not the acceptance.
You promise that in Your presence is the fullness of joy,
And it is this joy I lack, because it’s Your presence I avoid.
I would rather study You than know You,
Or serve You than be in Your presence.
This, my God, is my sin.
You bid me come and join You,
To remain in You as a branch in a vine.
I will go to You, the Great Satisfier of my soul,
That I may have the joy You have promised,
And You may have the glory You deserve.
A prayer when praying to a seemingly distant God…
Forgive, that I may be restored.
Receive, that I may honor you with rightful praise.
Hear, that I may enter your presence.
Listen, that I may speak my heart.
Speak, that I may hear your voice and follow.
Reach, that my desire might be for you.
Touch, that my confidence may be restored.
Heal, that my brokenness may be made whole.
Move, that I might believe you are within me.
Act, that I may learn to trust you with all I am.
Love, that I may be known by you.
A prayer when the fear of uncertainty replaces trust in a faithful God.
Father, my heart cries to you from fear and doubt:
My path is unclear, and you are not to be found.
The road soon divides, and the darkness creeps in,
So my sight is neared to the next step in my path.
I will take the right or the left, so long as you lead,
But your voice is not near to my ear,
Nor can I feel your hand on my shoulder as I walk.
How long must I wait? Should I wait, or should I go,
Taking the road that requires the most faith or the one that seems most sensible?
O my soul, why must I live in fear and doubt?
Thy Word, my God, is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
I will walk by the light of thy lamp, although it shows only my next step,
Because you are a faithful God, and You have never failed me.
May the light of your grace shine brightly as I walk,
So that I may not even know the path I am on,
But be glad that You are near.