Yours are deep thoughts and questions, and I'm glad you shared them. As you might imagine, there are volumes that have been written about this subject, so my brief comments will not suffice for addressing all your questions, but they may prove to be a start for a continued discussion.

To address a few of your comments to start:

A. It's OK to not know much about Calvinism at this point; there is great merit to studying the works and teachings of great saints throughout Church history, and Calvin is one of these great thinkers, but not the only one. So long as men faithfully interpret Scripture, we should welcome the chance to learn from them, all the while realizing that our faith is discipleship to Jesus above all else.

B. Your summary of my comments–specifically that individual salvation is God's sovereign choice rather than man's–is an accurate depiction of a Calvinistic understanding of Scripture.

C. “Foreknowledge” or “knowledge” in Scripture is often equated with God’s active choosing (Romans 11:1-2—“God has not rejected His people (that He chose through Abraham) whom He foreknew;” Amos 3:1-2—“You [Israel] only have I known of all the families of the earth;” Genesis 18:17-19—“The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? No, for I have chosen (literally “known”) him…so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised”). Here, “foreknowledge” reflects the same principle as we see in Ephesians 1:4 (“even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world”). Otherwise, Paul would need to say, “For those whom He foreknew (would choose faith in Jesus), he also predestined…”). Another interesting note is that use of the word “whom.” There are “people” whom He foreknew—not their actions (i.e. putting their faith in Jesus).

D. Rather than viewing election as God choosing that He likes one person more than another, it may be helpful to think of election in two ways: 1) anyone He saves is undeserving; we all deserve Hell, so those He does choose to save are getting a marvelous gift of grace, which tends to make us think less about what God thinks about us and more about what God thinks about His Son; 2) God’s choosing is according to the perfect counsel and wisdom of His will and doesn’t have anything to do with our likeability; we don’t know why He does many of the things He does, but we trust Him because we know He is good.

Now for a few thoughts in response:

1. The Bible states that God desires that all men be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth, and we both would affirm that this is so because we hold to the authority of Scripture.

2. If God desires that all men be saved, but not all men are saved, then one of two things are possible: either God has the power to save all but chooses not to do so, or He does not have the power to save them. In the first case, we would say that God desires, in one sense, that all men be saved, but in another sense, He desires that they not be saved (because in that case He would have the power to save them, thus fulfilling His desire). In the second case, God desires salvation for men but is impotent to save them, which imperils all of us.

3. Christians will reject the latter and embrace the former, although there is disagreement as to the reason this the former is the way it is. Some say God chooses not to save some because He has chosen to save others; others say God chooses not to save some because He respects their ability to choose Him or not choose Him.

4. Proponents of either case still must embrace the fact that God desires at least two things: in the Calvinistic understanding of salvation, God desires, in one sense, that all men be saved, but He desires something else more: to make known the glory of His mercy and his wrath by choosing to save some, although none deserve this grace. In a free-will understanding of salvation, God desires, in one sense, that all men be saved, but He desires something else more: to preserve man’s self-determining right of freedom. In either case, there’s more than meets the eye to God’s desire for all men to be saved.

Hopefully you’ve made it this far =)—if so, this should bring us to a pause in the conversation where we could go in multiple directions. If you want to dive in any deeper, let me know. Thanks for writing and for reading!

Wonderful question, and I'll do my best to give you an answer. And I can tell you up front it will not be entirely satisfactory, as I myself continue to wrestle with the implications of what I see in Scripture today, knowing that I will continue to grow in understanding as God gives me grace. I'll give you a short answer, and if you would like to dig deeper, I'll try to dig more with you. I'll use a series of statements to help organize my flow of thoughts.

1. God has chosen and called some, and she may or may not be part of this some.

“He chose us in him before the foundation of the world…in love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace” (Eph 1:4-6).

“For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…and those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified” (Rom 8:29-30).

2. If she is chosen by God’s, or part of God’s flock, she will respond.

“You (the Pharisees) do not believe because you are not part of my flock. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (Jn 10:26-27)

“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out” (Jn 6:37).

3. God’s means of saving people is through the proclamation of the gospel and their response in faith

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Rom 10:13-14, 17).

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Mt 28:19).

4. So I conclude that people perish apart from the gospel. It is of utmost importance that this girl hear and know the reality of the gospel if she is to be drawn into a right standing before God. God saves, but His appointed means of saving is through the proclamation of the gospel by His people, according to His will, to the praise of His grace. I cannot say my efforts will save her, nor can I say that any lack of effort on my part will result in her not being saved. But I can say that she will only be saved through hearing and responding to the gospel, whether it is through me or another of God’s servants. And my commission is the same in either case: to go and make disciples. So with the grace and strength that God allows, I will share this gospel with the greatest of confidence, knowing that it will not depend on my own skill, cunning, or effort, but that by the simple sharing of this gospel, Jesus’ sheep will hear His voice and follow.

I’d love any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks for engaging in this way!

thanks kind sir, your simple act of love is a great influence.